Well, yesterday wrapped up one week of being back in the Land of Tea and Biscuits.
I’d like to say it’s been nothing but dances of joy and it’s-been-too-long embraces, but in all honesty, that just hasn’t been the case.
If you’ve ever moved alone, especially if you have moved to another country, you’ll know what I mean when I say that things can very quickly seem a little too much.
There’s SO MUCH that needs to be done that as you begin to make your mental “to do” list, you realise that you need to apologise to the trees and grab a pen because you will never keep track of everything unless you physically write it down on paper.
When I started making my list, I wasn’t really too worried about anything.
Unpack everything. Open a new bank account. Apply for jobs. Pick up my residency permit. Register with a doctor’s office. Sort out my commute for uni. Budget my monthly allowances.
I figured it would all get worked out and I’d be on my way to settling into life. No worries.
Well, that quickly went to shit.
Opening a bank account was a nightmare as I ran into several issues varying from broken passport scanners to availability of tellers to help me. Long story short, I had no way to access my money, I planned this task out poorly, and I quickly went into a panic.
But, there was a light at the end of this dark, moneyless tunnel: I was offered a job!
Now, you’d think this would have eased my mind and I would have been on my merry way… well, nope. Guess again. There was a minor setback. The restaurant I had been hired at does not open until the 25th, so they would only be able to hire me if I agreed to go to London for training. As I really am not in the position to be passing up employment opportunities, I agreed.
As soon as I walked out of the interview with the very nice managers of the restaurant….. INSTANT ANXIETY.
How was I going to afford to go into London for the rest of the week when I didn’t have a bank account and only had so much money in my wallet to tide me over?
A phone call and quick cry with the lady, the myth, the legend, D-Nice (my mother), eased my mind and knocked me out of the absolute state I was in… and I’m not talking about a nice quaint state like Ohio… I was a WRECK.
I sorted out my tickets for the next few days and was honest with the manager of the restaurant in London about my tricky monetary situation. He was understanding and I went about my training trying to gain as much as I could from the days I was able to be there.
After this issue had been sorted, more hiccups ensued and I began to feel very trapped and alone.
If I’m honest, I felt a bit like I’d failed. Here I am on this massive adventure that I have been waiting to go on… and I wasn’t happy. In fact, I was quite miserable.
But, some very wise words from a special person in my life echoed in my mind…
There are two things to remember when it comes to stress:
- Either you can fix what is stressing you out, so do it and stop complaining.
- Or, you can’t. So, make the most of it and figure out where to go from there.
This little tip has gotten me through this past week.
I know it makes it seem incredibly black and white, and I know that some of you will be thinking of that scene from The Notebook where Noah asks Allie what she wants and she cries, “It’s not that simple!” But, it really kind of is.
Stress is a mental game that our anxiety, fears, and general worries like to play.
But, if you treat it like a basic equation, it really does seem a lot more manageable.
Stress + Solution = An Easy Mind
The immediate solution may not be right there in front of you or there may not really be one at all, but that just means you have to take it in stride and find a different path.
Plans do not always work, sometimes you have to change them along the way.
If you’ve kept up with my blog, you’ll know that I came to this realisation thanks to a trip to New York back in February. If you have no idea what I’m on about, check out that post here.
Anyway, I won’t pretend to be some perfect, zen person that never gets stressed. Of course I do. I’m human.
But, this little lesson from my special someone has reminded me of the lesson I learned from New York. Plans are meant to be changed.
Sure, my plan to come back to England and instantly feel at home again didn’t pan out, so what? I mean honestly, what did I expect? The conditions on which I am here this time around are vastly different than they were two years ago.
Actually, it was exactly two years ago today that I stepped off the plane in London for the very first time. Past Maddie had no idea what experiences she was in for last time and ya know, that hasn’t changed.
I have no clue what is to come, so why am I stressing? Of course there will be hiccups, that’s life. But I need to remember that I’m human and that the universe has my back. Things won’t always be smooth sailing because if they were, I’d never learn anything and good ol’ Luna knows that I do like a challenge.
So, if you’ve gained anything from reading this life update, I hope it’s this: Cut yourself some slack! Things may not always turn out how you imagined, but that is just a chance to change up your plan. And remember, THAT is a good thing.